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Some parody and humor for your enjoyment. I had fun writing this many years ago but thought it was lost forever. Turns out it had been ragged on by some folks parodying MST3K, and that version was still around. I've cleaned it up just a tiny bit, and here it is again after resting in obscurity for decades. They're Pinky and The Brain Yes Pinky and The Brain One is a genius, the other's insane They're laboratory mice Their genes have been spliced They're dinky They're Pinky and The Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain BRAIN! Before each night is done Their plan will be unfurled By the dawning of the sun They'll take over the world They're Pinky and The Brain Yes Pinky and The Brain Their twilight campaign Is easy to explain To prove their mousy worth They'll overthrow the Earth They're dinky They're Pinky and The Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain….NARF! ACME LABS: Project Journal PROJECT: XI839Q - Code Name "X-Scent" TECHNICIAN: R.James, employee number 342593 Results of mouse female pheromone formula XFM62 are inconclusive. When released into the maze, experiemental subject PNK3 (nickname "Pinky") immediately tried to find the source of the pheromone but could not seem to grasp the concept of dead-end corridors. Subject eventually became too aroused to negotiate maze and fell to masturbating furiously. Subject continued to self-stimulate until removed from maze. Subject BRA9 (nickname "Brain") quickly found source of pheromone , but ignored stimulus and attempted to dismantle maze timing device. Subject had three transistors and an IC chip in paws when removed from maze by researcher. NOTE: Both subjects were formerly used in cognitive enhancement studies. Could earlier modifications be influencing behavior? "Baw haw NARF! haw haw…" sobbed Pinky "I miss her already." "Miss who?" Asked the Brain. "I miss the lady mouse they had in the maze. She smelt like a real corker! We wuz getting along really well NARF! but I couldn't find her." He sniffed, and brushed away a large tear. The Brain smacked him on the back of his head, Thwack! "There was no lady mouse, you nincompoop!" His voice rose in frustration. "They just sprayed some chemicals to make you think she was there." "I don't think so, Brain," contradicted Pinky. "We had relations, if you know what I mean- NARF!" Brain sighed. "No you didn't, Pinky. The only mouse you had relations with was Rosy Palmer. Now help me lift this bobby pin into the new lock they're using to keep us in the cage." The Acme Lab researchers, blind to the tremendous intelligence of their experimental subject, had put a simple key lock on the cage. A few twists of the hair clip and PING! the lock sprang open. "Come on, Pinky! We have lots of work to do before the night is over." "I'll say, Brain. The floors in this lab are positively disgusting, and the shelves look like they haven't been dusted for years." They walked along the back of a lab table, threading their way among test tubes and retorts. "All too true, Pinky. But I wasn't referring to mere janitorial work. We must complete my latest mind control device so that we can-" His eyes grew large and malevolent, "Take Over The World." Brain stopped and looked around. Pinky was nowhere in sight, but he heard a loud grunting noise coming from the lab table below him. He looked down to see Pinky staring adoringly at a flask marked "XMF62." "She's here! She's here!" cried the tall pinkish rodent, masturbating furiously. "Who's here, you pin-headed mutant?" "Rosy Palmer, the girl I met in the maze," replied Pinky. His eyes were glazed, and a thin strand of drool dripped from his slack mouth. A thin mouse penis jutted from his abdomen, red and engorged. "Brain, I would like you to meet my fiance' Rosy Palmer. Rosy, this is my best friend in the whole world, The Brain." The Brains ears flattened malevolently to the sides of his hypercephalic skull. "That's a test tube, you idiot! There is no girl there. It's just chemicals, chemicals- do you understand?" "Oh goody, I love chemicals. NARF!" The brain looked at his less-than-gifted friend with one eyebrow arched. Just then, an idea sprang unbidden into his head, like an inspiration sent directly from the gods. "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" he asked. "I think so, Brain. David Hasselhof MUST have made a pact with the Devil. There's no other explanation for his success." Brain sighed. "While I must agree with you, Pinky, that's not what I meant at all. This pheromone has enormous potential." A plan shaped itself in his genetically-enhanced mind. "If we could develop a human equivalent to this compound, we could spray it world-wide. The humans would be so preoccupied with sex that they would never notice us Taking Over The World. Now quit humping that bottle and come along. We have work to do!" Pinky climbed down off the tall flask of XMF62 and followed the Brain. Turning, he waved. "Good bye, Rosy! I'll be back to see you soon. NARF!" His love-lorn sigh echoed in the tragic night. "You know, it's very bad manners to interrupt a bloke when he's having relations with his fiancee," he chastised the Brain as they made their way back to the cage. "Humping a glass bottle is hardly relations with one's betrothed," replied the Brain. "Now pay attention Pinky. This is my plan for using an XMF62 human analogue to Take Over The World." He revealed a detailed chart showing him mixing chemicals, then Pinky and the Brain flying over the world's largest cities in a bomber-like aircraft spraying all the inhabitants below, with humans copulating furiously as the Brain assumed the crown of Supreme Emperor of Earth. "What do you think?" "Well, I think aliens would have a very hard time having anal sex with a penguin," replied Pinky. "No, you idiot! What do you think about the plan to Take Over The World!" screamed the Brain, thwacking Pinky over the head with a long pointer. "NARF! I think it's a very nice plan, Brain. Really truly I do," gushed Pinky. "Good," said the Brain. "Now let's get to work. Hand me that flask and go turn on the Bunsen burner." All through the night, they toiled. Great flashes of light punctuated the musical bubbling of test tubes. Again and again, Pinky was sent back and forth to the supply lockers to get various chemicals and formulations. As the moon set, an evil green glow illuminated the Brain from below. A tall beaker of percolating vitreous fluid shone with its own malevolent radiance. "This is it, Pinky!" he cried, holding the beaker aloft with a pair of tongs. "The molecules contained in this beaker will cause humans to become so sexually aroused they'll make love to a pitbull. Governments will crumble. Riots will break out. The world will be on the brink of war! Then, when things REALLY get bad, I'll step in and fix them. They'll have no choice but to appoint me Supreme Ruler of Earth. By this time tomorrow evening, I will Rule The World!" "Egad, Brain! Brilliant. Naaaarf! Hee hee hee." The Brain looked around. "We still have to test the formula. I know! we'll spray it on the first researcher to come in today. Come along Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you." ACME LABS: Project Journal PROJECT: XI839Q - Code Name "X-Scent" TECHNICIAN: R.James, employee number 342593 Don't know what came over me today. Lisa Fingletter smelled so good. I couldn't help myself. I kept looking at her tits and thinking how good it would be to bury my face in them and not come up for air for a month. Before I knew it, I was ripping off her lab coat and licking those tasty little nipples. "Stop, Robbie!" she cried, but there was no stopping me. I think my cock was harder than it has ever been. I munched away at her nipples and breasts like there was no tomorrow. Pretty soon, she was breathing heavy. Classic arousal response to simulation of high nerve-ending density areas. I pulled up the short skirt she was wearing and tore off her flimsy little lace panties. I was surprised to see that Lisa, the most conservative female in our group was wearing such sexy underwear! Screaming with primal lust, I lapped at her pussy. I tongued and nibbled her clitoris until she was screaming for release. Then I took my steel-hard battering ram and thrust it deep into her tight little pussy. I came immediately, but my cock stayed stiff. This is contrary to normal human sexual response. In most males aged 27-35, the penis usually experiences a period of deflation after orgasm lasting from 15 to 35 minutes. Not this time, though. I fucked her for hours without going soft. I must have cum a dozen times, maybe as many as twenty. I lost count. I only stopped when I passed out. NOTE: Check XMF62 for possible contamination. Hey, wait a minute. Isn't that Bridgette O'Donnell from gene testing over there by the X-Ray Gamma Spectrometer? Damn, she would look so hot without those safety goggles… The Brain looked down at the dozing lab technicians, still locked together in copulation. "Hah hah! It worked Pinky, it worked!" He chortled. "Now quickly, to the airfield. We only have four hours to spray the entire world." They hefted two large containers of the pheromone formula onto a hand-truck and made a fast getaway. As they hurried to the airbase, the Brain sprayed a mister filled with the concoction at everyone who stood in their way. The results were predictable. One business man seriously injured himself trying desperately to copulate with a department store window's mannequin. "It must have been cold where they modeled that dummy, Brain," giggled Pinky. "Her nipples are quite pointy. NARF!" At last, they reached their goal. The USAF Security Police at the base gate decided go visit their wives after a hearty sniff of the pheromone, and the two lab mice made their way unimpeded to the B-2 hanger. "Now Pinky, when we reach 45,000 feet release the compound," called the Brain from the First Officer's seat. "Allowing for the effects of the El-Nino and the low pressure area off the coast of California, the jet-stream shift should spread the augmented human attraction pheromone across the entire world within 48 hours. Then The World Will Be MINE!" He taxied the huge bomber onto the runway and took off into the night air. At the controls of the massive aircraft, Pinky stared at the altimeter. He hitched up the collar of his leather bomber jacket and muttered to himself. "Only three thousand feet to go." Turning to the rear of the aircraft, he called "Pinky! Pinky, get ready to release the containers!" There was no reply. "Pinky! Where are you?" "Over here, Brain!" shouted Pinky. He was staring adorably at a tall flask- the XFM62 which he had smuggled aboard along with its human analogue. "You'll like my friend the Brain, Rosy," he addressed the glassware. "He's really very nice, and we're going to rule the world tomorrow, or next Thursday at the latest." "How many times do I have to tell you, that's not a girl!" raged the Brain. He put the bomber on autopilot and stomped back to where Pinky was humping his disgustingly engorged member against the flask's slick glass sides. "A little privacy, please! NARF!" cried Pinky, attempting to hide his beloved's imaginary genetalia from sight. The Brain, overwhelmed by disgust for his friend's idiocy, aimed a smashing blow to the midriff with a handy wrench. He missed, smashing the mousy sex pheromone and drenching both himself and Pinky, splattering the strongly scented fluid all over the interior of the bomber. What ensued could best be described as cartoon chaos. Two frenzied mice furiously humped away at anything and everything that looked like a female mouse. And in their state EVERYTHING looked like a female mouse. Pinky grunted out tiny spurting orgasms on all the computer mice, sobbing hysterically his grief over betraying his fiancee Rosy Palmer. The Brain, normally immune to the call of the flesh, made up for a lifetime of abstinence by proving himself to be the consummate mouse-cocksman. Nothing bigger than a thimble and smaller than a loaf of bread escaped ravishment. In short order, the interior of the huge strategic bomber was all a-sparkle with a thin glaze of mousy semen. "Beep! Beep! Beep!" sounded the low-fuel alarm. The bomber had been in a tight holding pattern for the last four hours, exhausting it's store of jet fuel while the two mice sodomized everything in sight. The Brain, collapsed on a flight planning chart, heard the alarm and sat straight up."Pinky! We've got to eject. The plane is about to crash!" "Oh, goody. I love ejecting!" cried Pinky, gleefully. "This is just like that other time we tried to take over the world and had to eject. How come we always have to eject, Brain?" "Never mind, Pinky. Just put on the parachute. I'm sure you know how to do it by now." "NARF!" The two horny mice floated softly to land on the top of the Acme Labs research facility. Epilogue: ACME LABS: Project Journal PROJECT: XI839Q - Code Name "X-Scent" TECHNICIAN: R.James, employee number 342593 Results of mouse female pheromone formula XFM62 remain inconclusive. Researchers have been unable to explain the bizarre effects experienced yesterday, nor has anyone been able to account for the missing flask or ingredient elements. Some staff members have been questioned about pilferage, but none have been charged. Some residual effects have been noted, particularly in experimental subjects PNK3 and BRA9. Subjects appear to be in constant state of arousal and are taking turns copulating with their water bottle, food dish, exercise wheel, and any small item placed in their cage. Other mice respond similarly in the presence of PNK3 and BRA9, who we have been forced to separate from the other subjects in order to protect them from been forcibly sodomized. NOTE: Recommend study be discontinued until more stringent research protocols can be initiated. "Not now, deary," Pinky addressed the water bottle breathlessly. "I'm too exhausted." "I think the effects of the pheromone are wearing off," wheezed the Brain. "That exercise wheel looks mighty fine, but I just can't get it up right now." "Aw, and we was just getting along nicely, weren't we darlin'? NARF!" "Shut up and try to get some sleep, you idiot! We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow night." "Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?" "The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try To Take Over The World-" They're Pinky, They're Pinky And the Brain Brain Brain Brain…. catagorical