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I wasn't in the best mood last night. In fact I was sitting on the ledge of a roof with my legs dangling over and crying my eyes out while talking to some people here on Reddit about something bad I'd found out only a couple hours before. It was me, my phone, my laptop, the rooftop, and that thing a lot of us know to be depression. We've all been there at one point - don't bother denying it. You can guess what was going on with my head.
It was around am and I couldn't stop crying. I felt alone and I was tired and I was just so sick of being there. If I'd jumped, it would have just ended with one big splat, and everything would be okay.
Since it was a Friday night I didn't really bother texting any of my friends about what I might do. I'd been asked to come to a couple parties but declined the invitation because I was planning to spend the night relaxing with a good ol' animated movie marathon. They were probably all busy with parties and drinks. Nobody would have noticed.
While I was talking to another person on Reddit about maybe jumping, my phone rang. It was my friend Mark. I'd hadsex with him before while he was kind of really drunk and expected him to be smashed when I picked up.
I didn't even get a chance say hi when he started talking. Thankfully, he didn't sound too wasted. "Sofie, hi, you busy?"
Any sensible girl would have thought that it was a booty call. As much as I love sex, responding to booty calls was never my thing. I was just about ready to hang up without saying anything when Mark continued. "I just left this really shit party. They didn't even have any drinks there. You said you were going to watch movies tonight, yeah? You wanna head over to one of the quads and marathon together? I got this one movie I know you'll love - have you watched Song of the Sea?"
I actually started laughing at that point. "No, no I haven't. I don't think I'll be watching it any time soon."
Mark was quiet for awhile before he answered me. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying."
"Sofie, why the fuck are you crying?" He sounded scared. Mark asked me where I was and I told him. He said he'd come in five minutes. I told him he might not have five minutes. Mark insisted he'd stay on the line while he ran over to the rooftop I was sitting on. I alternated between talking to him on my phone and talking to some other humans on Reddit. We talked about why I'd decided to go where I was, and the closer Mark got to reaching me, the more I started to cry.
Mark got there in less than five minutes. At that point I was curled up into a ball on the floor, looking like a complete and total mess, tears and snot probably all over my face. Mark ran over and hugged me while I cried and cried and messed up his shirt. Let it be known that I am an ugly, ugly crier.
Hugs were always nice. They were always really, really warm, too. Mark gave nice hugs. He also gave some pretty good pep talks. I'd rather not go into the whole conversation since it would make this even longer than it needs to be.
"You wanna watch those movies like you said you would?" He asked. I'd calmed down and thought maybe I could stay for awhile. I said yes. We got my laptop and phone and headed over to lean against the wall opposite the ledge and started watching my favorite animated movie - The Book of Life.
It was pretty dark up on the roof. Most of the light we had was coming from the moon and my laptop. Mark and I sat next to each other with my laptop in between us. We'd just reached the part where Maria woke up from her trance (I started crying at this part again because how could you not) when I realized that I was watching a movie with someone who'd saved my life. He'd saved my life and I hadn't thanked him.
(Okay, yeah, maybe at this point I was feeling particularly horny and liked having sex with Mark that first time, but at least let me try to convince myself that I did it because I was thankful.)
Mark seemed completely engrossed in the movie. Keeping my eyes glued to the screen, I reached over and ran the tips of my fingers over his crotch. I felt him stiffen and started stroking him through his jeans. He was getting hard. Perfect.
"What are you trying to do?" Mark asked. I didn't look at him and just shrugged while smiling.
Mark laughed nervously. I could feel the bulge against his jeans. "I'm not drunk or on any drug this time. You don't have to."
"Yes, I do."
"Haha, really, you don't." Mark paused the movie. His knuckles were white. "We're watching Song of the Sea after this, right?" He took the laptop and plugged in his flash drive. "Trust me, you'll really enjoy it, I pro - "
"Please?"
"Huh?"
"Please."
"Please what?"
"I need to feel something again."
We were just staring at each other for awhile. I didn't stop what I was doing to Mark's cock - he was breathing hard and the self-restraint was on his face. He shut the laptop and put it aside, biting down on his lip, visibly concerned. Mark held on to my wrist and stopped me. I guessed he wasn't really into casual sex with girls younger than him - or sex with me when he wasn't drunk or on drugs.
Before I could apologize for making a move, Mark said, "Okay, okay, fine. But I'm making it about you tonight."
"Huh?"
Mark laughed again. "You know, you always tilt your head whenever you're confused. It's cute."
I stuck my tongue out.
Mark laughed and leaned in to kiss me. It's like he didn't know what it meant to be mpl studios amelie rough. I'd kissed guys before who would start off like he did and eventually eat my face, but Mark was slow. He was slow and gentle and made everything feel like he wanted to remember every bit of it. It was frustrating.
He wrapped his arms around me and I ended up lying down on my back, with Mark slowly running his fingertips over my curves, over my boobs, along my hipbone, on the side of my neck. I was squirming underneath him and if my mouth wasn't so busy I would have asked him to hurry up, shove his cock inside my pussy and fuck me like a bitch in heat.
He kissed his way down my jaw, to my neck, and tugged my t-shirt up with his free hand. I'd just ran from my dorm to the rooftop beforehand, and hadn't had any time to even consider putting on a bra. Why the fuck would I wear a bra in my own room?
Mark looked like he was containing his laughter. "Your boobs aren't small enough to be able to go out in public without wearing a bra." I was expecting him to at least grope me, but he didn't. That bitch didn't. I was wet and writhing and that bitch didn't pay any attention to my tits. My nipples were hard from the open air and having him look at me and he wouldn't even do anything. I whined. Mark laughed - and ignored me. He told me to get comfortable. I told him to go fuck himself. He laughed at me again and insisted I get comfortable.
Mark tugged my shorts and underwear off and bent my legs apart. He ran his fingertips along the inside of my thighs, which was a very bad idea since I started laughing and ended up nearly kicking him right in the face.
Mark laughed and slung my legs over his shoulders. He kissed his way up from my knees, to my thighs, to my slit, taking his time and never breaking eye contact.
He just kept kissing me, dammit. It was freaking frustrating. I could feel how wet I was and I was sure he could too and no matter how much I tugged his hair he wouldn't budge. I was grinding my hips into his face, groaning, getting more and more sensitive and Mark was being a little bitch and refused to eat me out like I wanted him to.
I don't know how long it took before he licked my clit. It was just a slight flick of his tongue and I felt like I was about to cum - I was that sensitive. Mark laughed and did it again. I squeezed his head with my thighs.
"Will you please just get on with it already?" I asked him. I don't think I've ever sounded that desperate before.
"Patience," Mark said. "Trust me." He nibbled on my clit. He nibbled and licked and flicked with his tongue and my toes were curling and my body was tightening and I was about to cum without him even putting a finger inside me.
His tongue went faster. Faster and harder. My hips bucked and I pulled his hair and nearly crushed his head with my thighs but he just kept going faster and faster and it didn't take very long before I came and grew limp.
Mark lifted his head. alisa mpl His mouth and chin were wet from me, and he licked himself clean.
"You okay?" he asked me.
"Yeah," I told him. "Thanks for that."
Mark slipped a finger inside me. "I didn't say we were done." He buried his face in my pussy and threw all that gentleness and slowness out the window. I felt his teeth and his tongue and him putting another finger inside me, mpl studios nude then another; he groped my ass cheeks and tried to steady my squirming and writhing. I wasn't thinking straight. I don't even think I was thinking.
It didn't take long before I came again.
Mark flipped me over so I was lying on my belly and dove right in. I didn't think his tongue or his fingers could go any faster or any harder. I wasn't just squirming. I was on the ground, squeezing my legs together, feeling my wetness run down my legs, grinding myself into his face but trying to claw myself away from him at the same time.
He started laughing. "How is no maintenance personnel coming up to check on all your screaming?"
"Shut the fuck up and put your cock in me already you asshole!"
"What's the magic word?"
"Please?"
"I can't hear you." I could feel him laughing.
"Please."
"Please what?"
"Please fuck me."
Mark laughed again. "Not tonight." He moved his fingers faster and nibbled on one of my ass cheeks. I couldn't take it. I came again. And again. And again.
Mark took my legs off his shoulders and asked me how I was. When I didn't say anything, he lay down on the roof next to me and pulled me over so I could lie down on top of him. He was still fully clothed and had one arm wrapped around my waist while the other was underneath his head. My wetness was still all over his face so I kissed him clean; he was back to being gentle and deliberate, taking his time and taking things as slow as he wanted. I was too tired to even consider making him be anything but that.
I could feel his cock straining against his jeans on my hipbone and reached down to stroke it, but Mark grabbed my hand and stopped me. "You need your rest," he said.
"But what about you?"
"Doesn't matter. How are you feeling?"
"Eh."
Mark looked genuinely offended. "Eh? You came four times and you feel eh?"
"I'm tired, shit head." I started laughing. "Thanks."
"Don't try it again."
"Is eating me out that bad?"
"No, god, not that - best place in the world is in between a girl's legs. I meant don't try, you know...the thing again."
"What?"
"Don't try to kill yourself again. Please."
"No promises."
We just talked for the rest of the night until just before sunrise. Mark helped me get dressed and walked me back to my dorm room. I'd forgotten the key inside and the door was locked, so I was probably going to have to wait until my roommate woke up before I could get some shut eye. Mark said I could sleep in his room. I took Marks' bed. Mark took his roommate's bed. Mark's roommate was passed out on the floor with a dick drawn onto his face.
Downside to this: I slept all day. It's am and I don't feel anything close to sleepy.
NOTE: What I was about to do will not get you laid, it will not get you a fwb, it won't get you anything aside from bad memories. Depression is freaking horrible and I was diagnosed when I was fifteen. I've been in and out of it for awhile now and I can tell you that there is nothing good about it. If you or anyone you know is depressed, please, I beg you, get help.
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