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Hello! I just wanted to reiterate that this story is totally 100% true, and I have dozens more just like it. This is what going to a UK university is actually like, and for an ugly duckling who grew up nicely it was like being cured of diabetes and being let loose in a sweet shop. Please excuse the style. I write novels, this is how I like to write. Maybe I'll put more stories later? This girl, Portia, changed my life on this night.


I didn't know Portia at all, but I recognised her as my housemate Rita's friend from across the pub.

I was with a couple of people from my classes, so we got our drinks and went and joined them.

"Hello gooorgeous," Rita slurred, mock sultry, as she always was when tipsy. Portia smiled thinly, watching us all. In particular she looked at Rick, a loud, arrogant guy from my Modern American Literature class. A pretty good friend of mine. Rick had a knack for stealing the room whenever one of his approved subjects came up, including but not limited to modern fiction, classic fiction, canonical movies, blockbuster video games, and pizza.

As Rita, Lottie and I gossiped about a new coupling among our extended friends, Rick asked if anyone had seen the newest Marvel film.

"Not again," I dismissed him. We had already hashed this one out after leaving the cinema together.

"I hated it," Portia declared. Rick and I looked at her with interest as she laid out her reasons. "It was stupid-looking, it was girls naked pics unrealistic, it was sexist, it absolutely was not my thing.

Are you two a thing then? If you saw it together?"

We looked at each other and then laughed and shook our heads. "Just friends," he said, and then said it again for good measure. I struggled to stay smiling, but I did.

Drinks flowed.

"I can't get over how you hated that film," Rick kept revisiting, with a shake of his head over his cheap whiskey. Then, over the tops of our heads he spotted a group of male friends, and with an apology drifted over to join them.

Lottie gave up on the night eventually, early classes she said, and with her anyone else who had joined us. Rita remained briefly, gathering up her things very slowly.

"Have you managed to have sex with Dan yet?" she asked Portia very suddenly.

"No," Portia shook her head. "I just don't think he's interested, honestly."

"Of course he is," Rita hissed, "you're beautiful.


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