Lord, I hate Monday mornings. This morning I made the mistake of "just checking" my reddit account, and then next thing I know I was going to be an hour late. Screw it, l called in and took the day off. After burning another half hour I decided to peruse craigslist for a bit. I’d never looked at casual encounters in the morning, and figured I’d see what scams I could identify. As the list loaded on my screen, the very first ad caught my eye. "BORED HOUSEWIFE" in big blue letters. Sucked in on the very first one, I clicked. Hmmmm No picture, no description, just text. "Real NSA. I don’t want to know your name or anything about you. We meet, we fuck, we go on our merry separate ways." I check the posting time. 8 Minutes ago. Odd, never seen one that quick. I think for a minute about how one could accomplish a completely anonymous coupling. Then it hit’s me and I click to reply. "I know a place, dark and private. You’ll never even see my face, nor I yours. And no one will pay attention to your screams. Interested? E-mail me at TheArtfulLurker@gmail.com". I quickly hit send, half resigned to getting another "I’m a nurse with Doctors without Borders in Nigeria" or "click on this to verify you’re not a rapist" and desperately hoping this is real. I found this place last Saturday. My daughter Jessica has been going through some tough times relationship wise, so I babysat her 6 year old to give her a night off. She went out drinking with a girlfriend and I took little Ben to one of the tamer haunted houses and then pizza. The haunted house wasn’t one of the top line productions, with just a couple actors and a lot of projectors with canned screams. As we made our way through, Ben took off (as kids do) and opened a closet door in the haunted bedroom. When he disappeared inside I ran after him. Bigger than a closet, I got the feeling it was a good sized room. In the dim light coming through the open door I could make out a stack of mattresses and a table with a couple chairs stacked on it. The windows were painted over with black paint, as were the walls. The air was dry and a bit stale from lack of use. I touched the tabletop and felt a thin layer of dust scrape my fingertips. As the door slowly swung shut it was getting pitch dark. I quickly pulled Ben out, closed the door and we continued on. At the time I didn’t give it much thought. When Jessica got home she was a little tipsy. She had been out bar hopping with a couple of girlfriends. I kidded her about meeting Mr. Right, and she gave me a strange look and said she was going to bed. As she left the room I noticed the sway of her hips. Man she was a beautiful woman. As she grew up I had to restrain myself from showing too much interest many times. She always had small breasts, they filled in a bit when she had Ben, but they were back to a perfect C cup. And her hips, good lord she had a wiggle when she walked. My hand dropped to my crotch, fingers brushing across my hardness for a moment before I realized where I was. I made sure the door was locked and laid down on the couch. I got Ben up in the morning and fed him some breakfast while he watched cartoons. As I was finishing my second cup of coffee Jessica finally woke up and came downstairs. Damn, even just waking up after a night of drinking she radiated sex. I turned my chair so my lower body was hidden under the table, I didn’t want her to see the tent in my pants. "Morning" I said. She poured a cup of coffee and then turned and almost purred "Mmmmmmorning". The tilt of her head and the look in her eyes grabbed me in the gut. I made a quick excuse before I did something stupid. "Well, Ben’s had breakfast and is watching TV. I’d better get home, I’ve got a couple of things to take care of before work tomorrow." I walked over to give her a peck on the cheek, and just as I did she turned her head. Our lips met with an audible spark. I jumped back and she batted her eyes and said "static electricity" as she licked her lips. I had to get out of there. I almost ran to the door throwing a "call me later" over my shoulder. I pulled the door shut a little too hard, and by the time I got seated in my truck I was out of breath. What the hell just happened? After calming down for a minute I drove home. As I pulled out of her drive I thought I saw her bedroom curtain move. I took care a few things around the house and then decided I needed a nap. Wrong move. I dreamt. I was in a completely dark room, holding the warmest body I had ever had next to me in post-coital bliss. The air was heavy with the scent of sex and my groin was soaked. But a feeling of peace like I’ve never felt before came over me. The woman next to me turned her head towards me, and it was Jessica. I bolted awake. Holy shit! My pants were wet in front, I’d had a wet dream. How long has it been since that happened? What’s wrong with me, acting like a teenager? I went out to get a bite to eat and then went to a movie. Latest action movie with lots of dead bodies finally got those images out of my head. When I got home I popped a sleeping pill and slept the sleep of the dead. Sorry, got sidetracked, but it’s all relevant. Where was I? Oh yeah. It seemed like only seconds when the mail notification sound dinged. It was from TheArtfulFucker@gmail.com and was just 3 words ""When and where?" I couldn’t believe it, she’s real. First time for everything I guess. Throwing caution to the wind I give her the phone number to my pay as you go secret phone. "Go to the Main Street Haunted House at 1 pm and text me when you get there. I’ll give you instructions from there." After I hit send I regretted it. 1 pm was 4 hours away, what was I thinking? She obviously doesn’t want to wait and will find someone else now. Shit. But the reply came back as quickly as the last. "See you there. Ooops, I guess I won’t see you. Fuck you there. I’ll be ready." I couldn’t believe it. After 3 years of striking out, I finally might get laid! Whoo hoo! I got up with renewed energy and jumped in the shower. Did the happy dance as the hot water stung my skin. Then realized I had to slow down or I’d never make it to noon. The haunted house opened at noon, I remember from looking up it’s hours Saturday. I wanted to get there early enough to make sure the door was still unlocked and nothing had changed, but not so early that the ticket guy would remember me. I arrived about 12:30 to a parking lot with just 3 other cars. Probably staff. Then a bedraggled mom with 4 kids in tow exited a mini-van and went inside. Perfect. I bought 2 tickets, then told the ticket taker my other daughter was meeting us here. I implied that we were part of the previous party and he didn’t even raise an eyebrow. I caught up with the mom and kids and then held back until they disappeared ahead. When I finally reached the haunted bedroom I tried the door. Relief flooded over me when it turned and opened. With a quick glance behind me I plunged inside and quietly closed the door to wait. And plan. I wanted this to be a memorable experience. Boy, did I underestimate what was going to happen. Promptly at 1 pm my phone message chirped. The screen lit up with "I’m here. What next?" I had prepared the next text messages so I could send them quickly. Copy, paste, "Tell the ticket taker you are Artful Lurker’s daughter and he’ll let you in." send. Copy, paste, "Go to the haunted bedroom on the second floor and enter the closet left of the bed." send. Copy, paste, "Turn off your phone and make sure no one sees you enter. " send. Copy, paste, "I’m ready." send. Now the wait. I was a bit nervous. I took my shirt off and stood behind the door. I put my phone on vibrate and laid it face down under the hinges so I could be sure to find it again. I played a million scenarios out in my mind in the seemingly hours I stood there. In reality it was probably 10 or 15 minutes, but it seemed like ages. The canned screams and ghostly sounds came like clockwork, adding to the weirdness of what I was doing. Finally the door creaked open and an obviously female shape entered the room. I put my hands firmly on her shoulders and whispered "Shhhhh" as I gently closed the door with my hip. The closed door plunged the room back into complete darkness. I stepped up behind her and slid my hands down under her arm pits, wrapping my arms under her breasts and hugging her. As I nuzzled behind her ear and gently kissed behind it, she reached back and grabbed my hips, grinding her behind into me. I breathed in the smell of her hair and oh shit. I shuddered as Jessica’s face popped into my mind. She uses the same shampoo as my daughter! I almost lost it right there. I pulled my arms back, sliding my hands across the silky material of her blouse to cup her breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra. I kissed my way along her neck as my fingers brushed across the front of her breasts. The thin material could barely contain the nipples straining to be free. As I worked my lips up to the other ear and my fingers began to unbutton her blouse her hands moved to the front of my pants. She softly teased my hardness through the rough denim of my jeans. I hurriedly finished unbuttoning her so I could get her hands away and catch my breath. I slipped the material off her shoulder, following the edge with my lips and tongue. As the one side fell away I gave her a little nibble on the shoulder and then moved to the other side. Again kisses and flicks of my tongue along her collarbone to the shoulder as her blouse fell away. My hands slid along her sides, down to her hips and then back to her breasts. This time I let my fingers find the nipples and give them a quick pinch until I heard a sharp intake of air. My lips moved to her spine as my fingers explored her soft abdomen, stroking gently first on way then another. As I reached the small of her back I was kneeling, my hands now undoing her belt. As her slacks parted in front I began to work them down with my teeth, brushing my teeth on her skin as I tugged inch by inch exposing her luscious ass. With her pants mid-thigh I reached up for her breasts, planting a row of kisses back up her ass as I stood up. I took her right hand in my left, pulling her arm across her body until I could kiss the skin on her wrist. Then the same thing with the left. Arms crossed in front of her, covering her breasts and her hands on her shoulders she was completely defenseless. I caught her completely unaware when I gave her a forceful shove. I could almost picture her arms flailing as she moved forward, colliding with the stack of mattresses and falling face first. I quickly moved up behind her and put one hand on the small of her back, pushing firmly. With the other hand I popped her on the ass, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough for her to understand I didn’t want her to move. I undid my pants and kicked them to the side, then felt in the dark to find her leg. I removed her shoe, I could feel it was a low heeled pump and again Jessica’s face invaded my thoughts. She had a closet full of them. I tickled the arch of her foot with my tongue then ran my teeth along the skin behind her toes, eliciting a soft sigh. I put that leg down and found the other. As I removed her other shoe I thought how easy it would be fantasize this stranger as my Jessica. It was a little strange, but so damn exciting. I’d have to be so careful around her in the future. I wasn’t sure I could separate this fantasy from reality and it scared me a little. But then what was the point of having completely anonymous sex if you didn’t make it with someone you otherwise couldn’t have? I put her leg down but held on to her pant leg while grabbing the other one. Roughly I pulled the pants from her body and tossed them somewhere up by her head. As I did it sounded like a group of little girls entered the bedroom and screamed at the "ghosts". This was getting interesting. I grabbed at her ass to find the waistband of her panties. I gave them a tug and realized I might hurt her tearing them off, so I peeled them down her legs. I knelt down between her legs and teased the skin on her thighs. Her knees were about the edge of the bed, so I kissed the thin skin behind them as I stroked her thighs. I moved up one side until I sensed her heat and then jumped to the other side and moved back down. She squirmed a little so I grabbed her hips and pulled her until her knees hit the floor. And buried my face in her. Heat. Not normal sex hot but furnace hot. Wetness. How could she produce so much and not have it drip away? Sweetness. I reached out with my tongue and was amazed at her sweet taste. Again Jessica’s face. She used to get after me all the time to cut down on salt, and one time she made a comment about "ladies will love it and swallow every drop". I finally quit shortly after my last encounter. I wondered if this stranger would swallow me. I wondered if Jessica would swallow me. I got busy with my tongue, slowly caressing her outer lips. She quickly picked up the rhythm and rolled her hips as I reached the bottom, straining to reach my tongue with her clit. I teased her mercilessly, until she gave a little whimper and I plunged my tongue in. This time I didn’t avoid her little button, it was my target. At the bottom each time I made certain to flick it, lick it, sometimes I would pause and suck it. I could feel the tension build, she’d push a little harder a little longer. And then her thighs clamped on me for dear life. Her muscles shook like jelly and a warm flood filled my mouth and dripped off my chin. I couldn’t tell if she was screaming or it was someone in the haunted house. As each spasm subsided I would reach out and flick my tongue and start them again. The_Artful_Lurker