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A lot of people seemed to like my last story so I thought Id tell this one too. Be warned, this story is not the typical over embellished sexy times story that is typical for this sub, it does include sex, but the main reason I want to tell this story is because its a fantastic adventure worthy of a Peter Jackson film, and again, unlike a lot of this sub, is 100% true. This story takes place about four years ago, Id just gone off to university, my head full of dreams, my stomach full of pizza and my virgin balls full of sperm. Now, like most universities there were several events to welcome the new students, ones that happen during the day that are focused on sports and societies, and those at night that are focused on getting pissed as newts and making sure that those who are so inclined can play pokemon with STDs (cos... gotta catch em all... getit?) It was at one of the day events that I first met the girl, well call her Julia, because thats her name. I was checking out the stand for the Golf society as Im a somewhat keen golfer, and I noticed her there too looking at another copy of the pamphlet I was holding. I decided that now would be as good a time as any to make friends, so I struck up some shitty smalltalk. You play golf too? Not really, Ive tried but Im not that good At that point the guy on the stand interrupted and decided to tell us how they had groups for people of all skill levels, even complete beginners. He had a bit of a creepy stare so Julia and I both backed away from him a bit and made excuses. She got grabbed by two of her friends but before she left I shouted after her Im Jeff, by the way! Julia! she replied. She seemed nice, but I didnt think that much of it. Uni is a big place and the chances that wed even run in to eachother again were pretty damn slim. ...But it would be a bit of a shit story if we never ran into each other again, so, as you might have guessed, we did. In fact, we ran into eachother that very evening! The nightclub event that night was themed, and the theme was 90s disco... Ive never seen so much colour in one room, it was great. I predrink with my flatmates, Luke and Oliver, and then we get on the stuffy bus thats provided by the uni to get to club nights. We get to the club and about three songs in I go to buy some shots with the aforementioned flatemates. When I get in line to the bar, a familiar face turns round from the queue in front of me, its Julia! Hey, youre the Golfer, right? she asks Yeah, the one without the creepy stare I reply, which gets a laugh. Then she looks at me with those cute flirty eyes that horny girls have and says; Can I buy you a drink? Only if I can buy you one too. (because Im a right proper modern gentleman I am.) Make it two rounds each and youve got a deal ....So yeah then we had four shots of tequila each and I dont remember the next couple of hours. The next thing I can recall is that we decided to leave the club early and get a taxi back to the halls were staying in (shes in a different block to me, but its all in walking distance). For some reason we end up in the kitchen of my flat, drinking water out of cereal bowls because we couldnt find any glasses, in a vain attempt to stop the room from spinning so much. Eventually she just decides shes had enough and she kisses me. Now me being as smashed as I am, Im not really expecting it, and we do that awkward thing where we bash teeth together for a bit, but eventually I remember how to control my face and kiss her back, leading her through to my room between pecks. She starts to strip off almost as soon as Ive locked the door, and starts groping at my (enlarged) cock through my trousers – turns out she was REALLY horny. Now, me being a complete and utter virgin who had never gone further than kissing before, had no idea what I was doing. This was compounded by the fact that I didnt exactly have much motor control, and I failed to get her bra off for about three solid minutes. Eventually she gave up and said You havent done this before, have you? No... not even slightly! Its fine, Ill go on top and you just lie there and have fun. We completely strip off, and as she starts to rub my cock she gets a thought – Oh... do you have any condoms? Im not on the pill. Ah... right... No I dont... Damn... Oh wait, theres a machine for them in the toilets near the laundrette (How I remembered this is beyond me as Id only been there once so far and I probably couldnt remember how to spell my name at this point) So we start to get dressed again, me forgetting to put any shoes on and her not bothering with underwear and just wearing a thin dress. I grab a pile of coins from my desk and we start to walk out of my flat block and down to the laundrette.... We arrive... to an out of order sign. Well shit... Know anywhere else we could go? I say, because at that point Im genuinely out of ideas No... Do you wanna just call it a night? OH HELL NO I DONT WANNA CALL IT A NIGHT. IM FINALLY GOING TO LOSE MY V-PLATES. IVE GOTTA THINK AND IVE GOTTA THINK FAST. ...WAIT. GOT IT. We could go to Tesco? Now, for some details, Tesco is a chain of supermarkets in the UK and there was a 24/7 one that (as far as I could remember from living in the area for 3 days) was only a short walk away from the flats. I tell her that its close and we set off, me not bothering to get shoes and her not bothering to get anything warmer (bearing in mind that its below freezing and almost 2AM at this point) So we walk off, arm in arm, down the road... In the wrong direction. Luckily I realise, when we get to a field, that weve gone the wrong way, so we turn back. At this point my socks start to rip and Im treading barefoot on gravel for the rest of this fucking epic journey. The next obstacle came in the form of a surprisingly busy road – wed made it back to halls but loads of other people had just got back from the club so the road was awash with taxis stopping and going in all sorts of directions. All of a sudden Julia tripped up in the middle of the road, just as a taxi was coming towards us. I turn into a fucking ninja and grab her out of the way in time (also the driver was going about 5MPH and easily put his brakes on in time...) but shed got a cut on her elbow from the fall, so now were cold, half naked and shes bleeding, but were on the way to condoms and we skip (read: stagger) off arm in arm! After about 20 minutes of walking, I start to realise that the shop isnt nearly as close as I thought it was. Julia looks like shes on the verge of either passing out or dying from hypothermia, and I had cuts all over my feet, but then we see it in the distance, the great neon sign of the Tesco! Forgetting that we also have to make the same journey back, we pick up the pace and get to the front door. The store is open but deserted, we quickly find a box of condoms and walk over to the self checkouts... at which point I realise that Ive managed to drop my money at some point on the walk. I tell Julia, and her response is.... To grab the box and run out the store. I follow, despite not being able to feel my feet, and we sprint all the way around the corner, counting our (not entirely unsurprising) blessings that the shop didnt have any security at 3AM. The journey back is even worse than the one there, because were shattered, in a load of pain and we keep stopping to make out to get back in the mood. We eventually made it back to my flat and collapse onto my bed... ...And then we fucked. I lasted two minutes and it sucked. I never heard from Julia again after that day. Im not entirely sure why. And that kids, is how I met your mother lost my virginity. jdeans93