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< Part 7 Becky Phadt, the middle-eastern looking woman, then raised her hand along with Marcia, but rather than waiting for Lady Jennifer to call on her, she just started talking. Mistress Jennifer, what Sandra and Evellyn are saying is related to my issue. I was raised to believe that monogamy is the highest form of respect that a husband and wife can show to each other, so I am having a hard time redefining what a proper relationship is between spouses in this kingdom. It seems to me that you have rejected monogamy because you think it is a better method to deal with cheating spouses. Yet would it not be better to expect better behavior from people, rather than letting them get away with disrespectful conduct? Why should I not expect from my husband that I be good enough for him... sexually speaking? Good enough? Lady Jennifer repeated. What exactly does it take to be good enough? The fact that youre female, and are the only one he is allowed to have sex with? Is that all it takes? That doesnt sound like much of an accomplishment to me. Let me ask you something. What exactly does monogamy bring to a relationship? Becky replied, I know you like to denigrate monogamy as a way to prevent STDs, but cant you concede to the point that if you only have sex with your spouse, and your spouse only has sex with you, then there is no chance of contracting STDs? No, I will not concede to that, Lady Jennifer replied back. Its like conceding to the point that if I never get into a car I will never get killed in an auto accident. It may be true, but it does not fit into the reality that I live in. What I really dont like about how monogamy is used is that it makes it look like the lack of monogamy is what causes STDs. The reality is that its irresponsible and indiscriminate sex that causes STDs. Consider the analogy of irresponsible and indiscriminate eating. If you engage in this, you run the risk of food poisoning and obesity. Yet no one suggests that we eat only one kind of food as a way to avoid these things. Why should we use monogamy as a way to prevent STDs and unplanned pregnancies? STDs should be as rare as food poisoning, but with those on the political right believing that those who contract it deserve it, and those on the political left unwilling to expect responsible sexual behavior from anyone — beyond nagging people to wear condoms — I am not going to hold my breath expecting STDs to go away any time soon. Again I ask, what does monogamy bring to a relationship that makes the relationship better? Becky had to think for a few moments, and then responded I just think that sex should only be between married couples, because it is part of making that relationship special. Do you know, Lady Jennifer asked, that there are many Christian couples that practice celibacy in their marriage? They view sex as evil, and only engage in intercourse for the purpose of procreation. I actually have more respect for them than I do for couples that practice monogamy. The celibate couples at least acknowledge that sex is not something to base a marriage on. Lord Jacob continued And if starting a family, and raising children, is not enough to make a marriage special, then nothing ever will be. To answer my wifes question, monogamy brings nothing good to a relationship. Its about fears, and jealousies, and a whole host of things that are ultimately self-destructive in a relationship. You girls may find this hard to believe, but I am actually quite proud of my wifes sexual experience. She has had hundreds of male lovers, yet it is my life she has chosen to share, and it is I that she wants her children to see as their father. For that, I am deeply honored. In this kingdom, who you are sleeping with is not some euphemism for sex, and carries far more significance than any sex act ever will. What really irks me, Lady Jennifer continued, is how a woman can put up with all sorts of abuse and neglect from her husband, as long as he is supposedly faithful to her. It is as if the love and respect he gives her when he is with her seems to be irrelevant for some reason. You should only evaluate your marriage by what occurs while you are with your spouse, and not be consumed by irrational fears of what he might be doing while he is away. When it appeared that Lady Jennifer had finished, and no one else had anything to say, Marcia decided to voice one of her concerns. Mistress Jennifer, my unresolved issue is similar to Evelyns. Like her, I have this deepening feeling that I have been duped, or lied to, growing up. Has everything I have been told a lie? I suppose even how we abstain from physical pleasure on the Sabbath is something that is just foisted on us kids. Am I now supposed to doubt everything I was taught growing up? Thats a very real concern, replied Lady Jennifer. ... and one that I should have dealt with earlier today. The short answer is yes, you should. While I would not use the word doubt, I would say you should always re-evaluate everything you are ever taught. The most important thing to remember, like I told Evellyn, is that there is nothing fake or phony about what occurs in our church. I would even go as far to say there is nothing more real in our kingdom than what occurs in our church on Sunday. There is just more to our faith than what we put on display there, and well get to that shortly. Another thing to consider is how we taught you as a child to believe in fictional things like Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and many other imaginary things. Most parents do this because when they were children they were taught the same things by their parents, and they think it is a lot of fun. We think its fun too, but we also have a purpose in mind, which is to get our children into a mode of thinking where they can doubt their parents. We want our children to develop the self confidence to challenge their parents in what they are told to believe. Lord Jacob then lent support to his wife. I dont think that it is any small coincidence that the Christian parents that dont teach their children to believe in Santa Clause are the most controlling, and domineering, of parents. They like to claim that teaching children to believe in Santa Clause distracts them from what they should be considering, which is the birth of Christ, yet Im not buying any of it. Either their faith is so weak that a childrens fable can actually challenge it, or more likely, they never want their children to doubt anything they have to say. This, of course, also demonstrates a weakness in their faith. They dont trust their children to believe in Christ on their own, and want to supplant their childrens judgment for theirs. We, on the other hand, believe that no faith is a real faith unless that person arrives at it on their own. Anyone who needs to believe in others in order to believe in Christ has a false faith that is destined to shatter. Lady Jennifer continued, But lets get back to the comment you made about foisting our abstinence from physical pleasure on our children. You have younger siblings, so you know they are fed meat and candy on Sundays, while your parents do not eat any. I have talked to your parents, and I know that you first requested to take our vow of abstinence when you were eleven, but your parents refused to accept it until you were fifteen. So dont talk to me about foisting anything on our children. Our vow of abstinence requires adults to take them, and is never required of anyone. We will talk more about this later. With that, Lady Jennifer looked around the room to see if anyone had any more questions. Is that all then? she asked them. Part 9 > perl10