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I recently left a job after training one of my employees to replace me. Needed a change of scene and I wanted to promote Shawna, one of my employees, to manager. I liked her spirit and was proud of how she well she had done at the company. I guess I just liked her as a person and wanted to see her succeed – kinda corny but true. We had a fun relationship in the shop – we both had the same sense of humor, both learned from each other and we both found each other interesting. She was one of the few people I could talk to comfortably about most things. I never brought up inappropriate subjects seriously, only ever as a punchline to startle someone and make her laugh. She had been going out with a guy she had met at school before she graduated and they seemed like they were okay together, but I always felt like it was one sided. Whenever we hung out, she seemed like she was making all the effort to talk, have fun, even just come up with ideas of what to do like what to cook or what movie to go see. He wasn't a jerk, just seemingly uninterested. I phased myself out of the company and occasionally worked there just to fill in or moonlight when I felt like socializing. We maintained a casual communication through texts and when I would drop by to work or hang out for a few minutes. I hadn't realized until I was gone that I really missed her and wanted to be spending more time with my friend. I never even came close to making a pass at Shawna due to my being her manager and because she was with someone long-term. After being phased out for 3 months, I found out through a mutual friend/co-worker that she was going through a rough patch with Cameron, her guy. She moved in with him to make ends meet and it spiraled out of control pretty quick. It threw me for a loop that Cameron was acting cold and cruel to her because I never had seen anything that would make anyone not LOVE this girl. She was cute as a button: Short, cropped pixie haircut, great smile that made her eyes light up like candles, and a little petite frame. She was kind of tom-boyish honestly, but she was so cute at it that everyone loved her. She also had this southern charm thing going where she just did stuff that normal girls would him and haw over for a while. She DRANK a drink, didn't sip it. She hiked, rock climbed, she fixed stuff, and she learned how to do the things she didn't. I watched this little 4'11" early 20's girl sell a big football player that no one can even get into a conversation with $15,000 worth of outdoor equipment her second week of sales. She had never sold tents, or camping stuff and just studied and learned everything and watched the best guys sell and learned how to talk to people. It was impressive, and ultimately disappointing that Cameron didn't see a future with her. I went to see her a week after I heard just to say hi and was surprised at how different she seemed. She was more direct and cold with her instructions to all of the employees. She seemed a little beaten down and drawn out, but smiled when she saw me lurking in the back. We hung out for a while on the floor, just normal catch up. She finally excused herself from work so we could go grab some food. I asked her about Cameron and she kept it pretty short and un-detailed. She wasn't heartbroken – she was just was more torn up that he wasn't in love with her anymore and that fact alone made it hurt. She was feeling bad about herself that he fell out of love with her. The good part of the whole thing was that she now saw what a waste that relationship was for her and that her time wasn't shackled to someone who didn't care for her anymore. I asked her when they had officially broken up, and I was surprised to hear that it was 2 months ago, she was just hiding it from people because she didn't have anyone else at the store to talk about stuff like that with. I felt an immediate regret for not being there for my friend and told her I was so sorry I didn't pay closer attention and support her when she needed a friend. She gave me a glassy smile and said that it was better that I wasn't around because she probably would have done something stupid. I asked if she meant like I would have talked her into staying with him or something like that. She kind of cry chortled and said no and left it at that. After lunch, I walked her back and hugged her. We set up some time to hang out so we could talk more as we both missed each other's jokes, music, and general company. We decided to grab some drinks and food a few days later and left it at that. I let our mutual friend know via text that he needed to keep an eye on Shawna as she needed some cheering up. He responded at the end of the day saying "I don't know what you did, but she was in the best mood all week after she got back from hanging with you". Good sign that she can be cheered up, I thought. I mentioned I never made a pass at Shawna. This isn't for lack of wanting to, I just had legitimate reservations. Now that she was single and I didn't really work there anymore, there were fewer barriers. I did feel shitty even thinking about it so soon after her going through a breakup. I don't like the idea of being a rebound guy or fling, but kept the whole idea loose and knew that I was perfectly happy with just friendship. Friday came and I met Shawna at the restaurant. I arrived first and was a drink down before she joined me at the bar. Keep in mind that she is tiny and weighs maybe 105lbs with a backpack on. She ordered a long island ice tea and slammed it. She mentioned that the first drink was to just loosen up the pipes and that she was now caught up. She ordered 2 rounds of shots each for us with a gin and tonic back and motioned me over to a booth that was empty. I asked her how her day was and what was going on in the shop. She told me about some new guys that were a pain but coming around and that she was tired of doing all the work (part of the reason I left was that the owner was totally absent from any decision making process and just showed up to hand down budgetary edicts). I commiserated for a bit making jokes about the stupid owner and how he could die and the only way anyone would ever know is because the money would just pile up so high because he never collected it or spent it. After our food arrived and we were well into our 5th round, I asked Shawna how she was dealing with the breakup. "Breakup? You mean the loveless jackoff that stopped caring about his girlfriend who moved here to be with him? I'm perfectly okay with not being with that dick…and I'm okay not being with HIS dick!" Her eyes got wide as she said it, like it wasn't supposed to come out of her mouth, but slipped out by accident. I laughed and asked "That bad, huh?" "You wouldn't believe how little, well maybe you would because we never talk about that stuff…" She started trailing off and grabbed her glass and took a sip "Was he a small guy?" I asked, admittedly half-heartedly because I didn't care about size and didn't think she did either, but the subject was on the table. "What? Oh, no not really. I just meant that he wanted to do it so little. Like he wasn't interested in me. I also got the feeling he was into a friend of dead porn stars his more than me" Her eyes lit up again like something naughty was about to slip out again. "Paul" "What? That huge body-building guy?" He was a friend of Cameron's who competed in lifting competitions and modeled a little. He was amazing looking and made sure everyone knew it by dressing the part and taking his shirt off at every possible occasion. "Yeah. I caught him STARRING at Paul doing squats one time at the gym. I teased him about it for like a second and he got seriously pissed off and left for the day. This was 3 weeks before he kicked me out". She grabbed the waitress and told her we needed a to-go box for her food and the check – direct and confident. "Wow. Well, hopefully he can explore that side of himself and…" I was feeling brave from the liquid courage and decided to go full-friend mode and ask whatever was on my mind. Smiling I asked "Did he ever try to do gay-type sex with you? Like from behind a lot?" Shawna immediately went silent and I thought I had made a mistake. My smile faded right as the waitress came with the box and the check. Shawna made her wait while she grabbed her card out of her purse to pay for the dinner and drinks. "Shawna, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." I said quickly after the waitress left "No, its fine. I was just thinking of how uninterested in certain things porn star houston he was and it makes sense." She played with her straw and moved her ice around for a second. "Can I be completely honest with you?" She looked up at me suddenly and I knew that this was the moment of the conversation where it was going to be REAL for a little bit. "I suspected for a long time that he wasn't into me, but that if I loved him enough it would keep up together and he would come around and see how much I catered to him and would appreciate it." She was serious and intent, making eye contact the whole time. "He went down on me one time in 3 years and it was right in the beginning, in fact, it was the first time we had sex and he never even fingered me or touched me there." The waitress returned and Shawna signed the receipt. We decided we wanted to keep talking but in the comfort of my apartment, which was closer and called a taxi. While we waited, Shawna grabbed her coat and went to the bathroom. The hostess asked if it was a special occasion for us. When I told her we were just friends, she smiled and said "good luck with that" We were both pretty drunk at this point but had minimal trouble getting up the stairs to my place. Shawna had been over many times by herself to hang out and was totally comfortable there. She had slept over under similar circumstances (drunk) a year before and ended up in my bed with me on the floor beside. She scolded me in the morning and said I should have slept on the bed. She was right, my neck had hurt like crazy from the odd position. I offered her a night cap, and she asked for some aspirin and water. We both took them and drank what felt like a gallon of water before going into the living room. "What's it like being single in this town? I was with Cameron from before I moved here, so I don't know what the scene is like here?" She was curled up, knees to her chest and arms crossed around them. I tossed her a blanket and sat at the opposite end of the conch facing her. "It's like it always is: mostly desperate people trying to find someone who will tolerate them long enough so that they can get off and make their way to the next person" I was a little cynical on the dating topic due to a few strikeouts lately and my last girlfriend fishing in the same pond and finding a wealthy investor who was just out of college and already owned a company, 2 houses, and was seemingly always on vacation. I said it without thinking about Shawna, though and realized that my comment was not the type of positive information she should be hearing after a breakup. "That's how it is for me, but for a cuter-than-kittens badass girl who wears flannel and runs the local outdoor sporting goods store, it's going to be like fishing for studs in a stable." She smiled and put the blanket over her shoulders. "Can we just go to sleep? I'm exhausted and too drunk. I love talking with you, Collin. Are you busy in the morning? Can we just pause and pick this up in the AM?" I nodded of course, and we moved to the bedroom. "You are NOT sleeping on the floor this time" She said seriously at me. "You're right, I'm not. You are just going to have to deal with my snoring right up close this time" "If you start snoring, I'll push you off the bed and you can deal with that neck shit again." She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. "You don't have anything I could wear, do you?" She asked sheepishly. I grabbed some sweat pants and a t-shirt from the dresser and handed them to her. She stood up and just pulled her jeans off and shirt up before I could fully turn around. I tried to act smooth and move to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but I saw her green thong and matching bra, almost lingerie with how minimal it was. She was not a curvy girl by any means, but was tight and taut from all her activities. She didn't notice that I noticed and came into the bathroom after me and sat on the toilet as I brushed my teeth. She started to put the cover up and go pee before I could do anything and I got another look at her ass. She didn't seem like I was even in the room as she went and finished unceremoniously and put the cover back down to sit back on the toilet. I spit and rinsed while she stood up and moved right up next to me. I didn't know what she was doing – she just stood super close to me while I gurgled and spit the water out of my mouth. I stopped and looked at her in the mirror "Shawna?" I thought she might need to throw up or something "You okay?" "Can I use your tooth brush? I hate this feeling I have in my mouth" I smiled and put some Crest on the brush and handed it to her. She smiled "Thanks. I know this is weird, but I'm too drunk to care about cooties with a friend who I'm already wearing their clothes and just peed in front of them." She brushed her teeth while I grabbed some extra blankets and prepped the bed for two people. She slid into bed and I turned the lights out and climbed into the other side. As soon as I was on the mattress she slid over to me and curled up in a spoon position, grabbing my arm and putting it over her shoulder and chest. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked. She just mumbled a 'Hmm' and fell asleep instantly. I was bonked and fell asleep seconds later. up_on_high_mountain