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It has been another long week and I had finally gotten back home, the only greeting I get from my German shepherd, Dante. Of course there was some tidying up to do, but that doesn't take too long when you've had the practice and you take some shortcuts. A lot of people look forward to the weekend, but in reality I don't have that much to do really; maybe watch a film, browse the internet, go out with friends? As it turned out on that particular weekend, my friends were busy or had other commitments.

My collection of films? Yeah, that's why they're a collection – I've probably watched each of them at least six times and finally decided to slot in the corner. So, in the end, the internet is really my only choice, but I was hardly in the mood for that. Nearly four months ago, I broke with my ex of five years and I had been taking it pretty hard. The tearful nights were done after the first two weeks, but I was still stuck with this void in my life that didn't easily fill. Without telling you too much about my life, I work pretty hard during the day, even if it is a desk job, I still have to be in charge of a lot of things.

Simply put, when I get home, I want to forget all those responsibilities and forget what I'm in charge of; I want to be thrown on the bed and mounted. Actually that's not it – I'm just being modest – I want to be fucked roughly and taken cheaply; I want to be left spread and gasping with his cum leaking out of me as if I was a slut he'd just finished with. It's not pretty, it's not polite, and there isn't much thought for preserving dignity, but somehow I get off on that; somehow I'd find a strange freedom in surrendering my dignity just to be used for his satisfaction.

I'd never admit that to anybody of course, not even my ex. But he got that part right, even without me having to confess it to him – spanked me, bit me, fucked me whilst talking dirty filthy to me, used me like a whore, and when he was done, collapsed naked women pictures on his side of the bed and left me to mine. He didn't in the beginning, but he learnt I wasn't the cuddle-afterwards type (I want some cold air on my body after something like that, dammit!

). Best of all, he wasn't a jerk or an asshole (the breakup was complicated, and I totally understand our positions, but that didn't make it any easier to bear). So there I was, having uncorked a bottle of wine, lying on the couch with Dante (named by my ex, in case you're wondering at the silly name) warming my feet as I try to do another watch of Sex and the City, except this time around I'm finding it somewhat tame.

I think I managed one episode, but the two glasses of wine hasn't made it any more interesting for me. In fact I'm at the bottom end of boredom. A few minutes later and my laptop springs to life and I'm looking for anything naked girls pictures that's going to excite my libido. A lot of porn out there is pretty boring, being made for men as it is – cheesy pick up lines/corny scenario, blow job and/or muff dive, repetitive fucking, insert generic feminine moans that the woman is TOTALLY not having the time of her life.


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